five - FILTERED TO WARDENS

[amissbennet]

[Filtered to Wardens]
I was hoping someone might be able to enlighten me as to the best way to approach and gain the confidence of my inmate, Castiel. Upon our first lively discourse, he became entirely intolerable and rude. Though he has since apologized for his words, it is still his intention not to accept any help from myself toward his redemption.

At present, I am finding the greatest concerns to be that of his taking fondly to the drink -- where this supply is coming from, I cannot be certain -- as well as his entire loss of faith.

I do hate to admit such ignorance. But I also believe it is far better to admit ones' faults than to suffer blindly as a fool in matters one cannot understand.

Cordially,
Miss Elizabeth Bennet

Comments

[Locked to Wardens]

[irockatduckhunt.livejournal.com]

Wait, wait. Castiel? Castiel. He drinks a lot?

[Locked to Wardens]

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Yes, he does. Though I do not believe you and I have been acquainted.

Do you know Castiel?

[Locked to Wardens]

[irockatduckhunt.livejournal.com]

Oh, sorry. My name's Jo Harvelle. I'm new here.

Yeah, I know him. Or I thought I did. That's so weird. Castiel... he's an angel. Sorta. Losin' his mojo for helpin' us out so much, but I never thought he'd completely give it up. I really need to talk to him, though.

[Locked to Wardens]

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

I do appreciate whatever assistance you might offer. It is a pleasure to have the honor of exchanging missives with you.

I fear it would not be within any manner of common courtesy, let alone responsibility, to disclose details of his conditions. Sufficed to say that he is quite without faith at present and I am uncertain as to how to aid him. If you can offer knowledge on the matter which I had previously been without, I would be most grateful.

[Locked to Wardens]

[irockatduckhunt.livejournal.com]

Right, of course. I'll talk to him, and let you know.

private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I've talked to Castiel quite a bit of late. Personally I think anyone who has suffered such a great loss in faith is bound to try and find the same comfort and confidence from another source. I think the reasons why he drinks and does whatever else he does is quite directly connected to his lack of faith.

I think, also, when considering his lack of faith, you have to take into account that he never had to believe like humans do. He had a certain level of divine knowledge and faith is not quite the same instinctive process as it is for humans, it's all still pretty new to him. Perhaps you ought to, if you do, try to explain to him the strength of your faith and where you got it from, and try to understand why and how he lost his, especially after holding out such faith against his fellow angels.

private

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Then you would recommend the best course of action to be redeeming his faith? That the other recently acquired faults may follow suit in becoming virtuous if he is to accept the faith and light of God once more?

Though I am certainly a Christian, I would not dare even to dream that my faith might be comparable to an angel's. It feels demeaning to cite scripture to someone who might have lived them, and impolite to be so insensitive as to compare my faith to his own. I have always been afflicted with the impression that one should never compare their faith and strength of conviction in religion to that of anyone else.

I am not certain I understand to what you are referring when you speak of his "holding out such faith against his fellow angels." Would you please care to elaborate, or to clarify?

private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

I would personally say so, yes. Although any attempt to help him through other means wouldn't go amiss, I do think most of his problems are from the loss of faith.

Neither would I, do believe me, I would never attempt to compare my faith to that of one of His divine creatures, but I think you may have to realise that he is no longer an angel. He is human, and he has to learn how to believe like a human. Angels don't have to believe like we do, because they know of God's existence, and he lost that knowledge, but is still capable of belief. To find his faith, he has to learn how humans believe in God. How you and I believe in God. Or that's how I see it, at least.

Does it not mention that in his file?

private

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

I do appreciate your wisdom. Thank you.

I have not yet read his file. I believed it best to attain his blessing to do so, in the hope that it might build trust between us. What is your opinion on this?

private

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

Honestly? As a policeman, I find it foolish not to use all information at your disposal for fear of being rude. On a moral level, I'd say it's very commendable, and I would agree the best way to find out about your inmate is to talk to them, not just to read a file, but acting without any prior knowledge could lead to more difficulties than solutions.

I would recommend, if you are concerned about how he might feel about you knowing all that information, letting him read it too, if he wants. Then he knows what you do and don't know.

private - she think's you're an inferior french person now, for calling yourself a policeman

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

I am not entirely without knowledge, especially as I expect to be speaking with both the angel Aziraphale and Mr Winchester for greater details which might be of service to me.

I will present the idea to him, I think. Thank you for help and I hope that I might call upon you for more ideas in future.

private - his scottishness shakes a fist at you.

[kingfor-aday.livejournal.com]

You're most welcome. I'm always avaliable and willing to help. Sgt. Neil Howie, I don't think I've talked to you before, actually.

private

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

No, we had not been previously acquainted. Thank you for your time, Sergeant.

Warden Filter

[gimmethemap]

Forbid him from drinking without your sanction, then.

I mean really -- is it that hard? Of course he's going to resist being Wardened; a lot of Inmates do that. The fact is that you're in charge and he's not.

Warden Filter

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

I had considered the option. I find that Castiel often acts as a child. If you should restrict or forbid a child from something, he shall only work harder to acquire it and any latter attempt at pleasant acquaintance might be forever lost. It seems difficult to redeem a man who is not fond or respectful of you.

Warden Filter

[gimmethemap]

Exactly how many Hellions have you raised that way?

...Look, I'm not exactly an expert on rearing children, or rehabilitating Inmates. But he needs to respect you, and he needs to learn that if he's not willing to be pleasant then he can't have anything he enjoys. If you act like you're violating some trust by doing your job, he's not going to respect you when you do it, nor should he, because you're treating him like he's the one in charge.

Warden Filter

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you are right. It is something I had not truly considered. How then would I go about forbidding such substances when I cannot even conclude their source?

Warden Filter

[gimmethemap]

I guess you're just going to have to try a few things on your own and see what works.

Warden Filter

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Thank you for your educated advice, Miss.

[Warden Filter]

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

Perhaps I could be of assistance in some way, though I am both new to the Barge and to Castiel's acquaintance. My name is Aziraphale, an angel myself; and while the lady speaking above me has a certain point, I suspect being forthright with him first would be the wiser course. It is clear that you desire to respect his wishes, so perhaps give him a chance to respect yours.

[Warden Filter]

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

I am sorry to say that though I have presented him both with my desires and a possible arrangement which would accommodate his needs, he has seemingly taken pleasure in denying the both of them. I do not desire to refuse his habit entirely, particularly if he has fallen victim to addiction. I am at present, however, without a potentially successful alternative.

I wonder if we might be able to share a discourse over a meal? I feel that your position as an angel could be extremely beneficial to him and I would consider it an enormous favor if you could explain in greater detail your view of faith and what might help him. Perhaps I would be able to call upon you later to speak with him as well, though I would not presume the success of such a venture without becoming better acquainted.

[Warden Filter]

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

I see. It would seem that he has taken his predicament especially poorly. Do you happen to know what sort of position he filled before he, ah, became human? I suspect from his attitude he was one of those that rarely came down to this plane.

I wouldn't dream of refusing you, my dear. At the moment I have nothing but time, given my lack of an Inmate. From what I understand, Castiel and I are from rather different Earths, but at the least I can give you my perspective on it.

[Warden Filter] - oh irony

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Though I am well enough versed in basic scripture, I had not given much thought to the potential occupations of angels before coming here. I would expect it would be described in his file, but I am of the opinion I should not read it until such as time as he welcomes me to do so. I would dislie, I believe, any individual to know so much of my life without having given them the information myself.

I would appreciate it, Mr Aziraphale. Perhaps we could speak over dinner this evening?

[Warden Filter] - haha yeah

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

If he has become a danger to himself, I cannot think anyone would fault you for reading it. In some respects we are rather like counselors, who are governed by confidentiality laws - in all cases harm trumps privacy.

Of course. Where would you like to meet? And please, simply Aziraphale is fine.

[Warden Filter]

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

He is most definitely not a danger to anyone else and I might argue that he would not be a danger to himself so long as something might be changed within a fortnight. It is why I hesitate to enforce anything upon him.

I am at my leisure. Wherever best suits you for us to meet, that is where I will be found. Please decide upon a time as well, as it would cause the greatest embarrassment if we were to miss one and other.

[Warden Filter]

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

I'll trust your judgement there, but I cannot help but worry for his circumstances.

Well, I suppose we can discuss it better in person. Seven o'clock in the dining hall? There's a marvelous tree there now.

[Warden Filter] - Spam? Log?

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

That sounds absolutely delightful. I will see you then.

Spam; sorry, here I am!

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

[Aziraphale waited for her with a nice pot of tea, one he'd actually retrieved himself this time. Handwaving was all well and good, but he tried not to overdo it. Made him feel vaguely guilty.

He hoped he'd be of some use here. He'd never got on well with other angels, but that didn't mean he wished any of them ill, especially one in such a plight as Castiel. If he'd made friends, the man was obviously worth saving.

Unmindful of how un-angelic his own thoughts were, Aziraphale pondered precisely what he could tell Miss Bennet that would be of any use.]

Spam ; no problem! <3

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

[Elizabeth entered into the dining hall in a nice, white dress (http://www.lovetripper.com/weddings/uploaded_images/2225-796442.jpg), one of a handful which have been a gift from the Admiral. It seemed appropriate in making new acquaintances, especially with an angel. It was her attempt to impress as she seemed otherwise unable to do recently. Glancing around, she realized she had no idea what the gentleman looked like, but opted to move toward the one who looked most like he might be waiting for another.]

"I beg your pardon.. Are you Mr--that is, Aziraphale?"

Spam;

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

Yes, of course, [he said, smiling at her and standing.] You must be Miss Bennet. You look lovely, my dear; please sit.

Spam;

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

"Yes, I am. It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance." [Elizabeth was made modest by the remark, stepping forward to join him, dropping into a polite curtsy. She then took a seat across from where he had been sitting a moment prior. Offering him a smile, she cast a glance at the tea, thrilled that the people of the Barge seemed so fond of the beverage.]

"I trust you are well?"

Spam;

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

Oh, fine, fine. A bit troubled by this whole business, since it's so foreign to me. People from different worlds... all a bit radical.

[Aziraphale takes his own seat as he talks, pouring tea for them.] I didn't want to start without you, so I just set out the tea.

Spam;

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

"You are too kind." [She remarked in reply, though whether it was meant as a compliment or merely a demonstration of decorum, one couldn't be certain. His observations were indeed akin to how she felt much of the time.]

"Oh, yes. I do agree. I adore making such remarkable discoveries and I dare say my knowledge in some things is remarkably useful and refreshing to the people here. But I also find that I am ignorant a great deal of the time and thereby struggle in endeavoring to remain educated."

[Elizabeth felt comfortable speaking with him. There was something comforting about talking to an angel, perhaps the knowledge that he most likely had your best intentions at heart.] "I do hope you have not had the same problems in your own experiences."

Spam; in which Aziraphale rambles on forever, omg.

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

"Not really - this sort of thing happens to me every century or so. I look up and there's been some sort of advancement that's left me in the dust. Taxonomic classifications were an absolute shock, for example.

"But I'm sure this has been much more difficult for you," [he went on.] "Especially since your Inmate has such a... unique predicament. Truly, I've never heard of something like that happening, but I've been speaking with Mr. Winchester and I believe the differences between our versions of Up Above are significant. Nonetheless, please ask me whatever you'd like to; I find the entire situation extremely troubling."

Spam ;

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

[Elizabeth smiled and nodded, though she didn't understand the first portion of what he said. He seemed nice and it wasn't absolutely relevant from what she could tell, so it was easy enough to avert her attention instead to her inmate, his care, and the reason she and Aziraphale were meeting in the first place.]

"I am not entirely certain what to inquire. I am worried for his health and wonder how I might help him in restoring his faith, how I should ask an angel to respect me-- as a mere girl, ignorant and out of her time. I have not felt so aimless since I was a child and wandered so long I was lost among the grounds of Netherfield Park without even realizing!"

Spam ;

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

"My dear girl," [he said sternly, setting down his tea and looking at her with open concern.] "I believe you have the dynamic completely mistaken. He's not an angel any longer, and I imagine he has no notion whatsoever about how to be human effectively. You know far more about the matter than he does."

Spam ;

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

[Elizabeth cupped her hands around her tea. It wasn't entirely polite, but the halls had been chilly lately and she was often cold. The warm tea was exactly what she needed and she took a sip while still watching the man, trying to understand what he was saying.]

"How am I to educate a man on what it means to be human?"

Spam ;

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

"Yes, well, it's quite a conundrum. I'm not exactly surprised he drinks so much. Angels tend to be rather pompous and emotionless, very focused. They don't come down to Earth at all if they can help it. The rules are the whole bit, absolutely no deviation at all is tolerated.

"I think it's absurd, to tell the truth, but I can't say I don't understand the impulse. We weren't given free will, after all."

[He was completely honest here. Aziraphale didn't have the best relationship with other angels, to say the least; he was something of an oddity, unique among the other heavenly beings in his world, especially given his fondness for people in general. He was somewhat jealous of them, not that he'd ever consciously voice or even realize that, but over time he'd slowly and gradually become more human himself because of it.]

Spam ;

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

"And because the drink encourages him to become pompous and rude, he embraces it as a comfort?" [She asked with skepticism not at what Aziraphale said, but that someone seemingly so intelligent as Castiel could embrace it. It was ridiculous.] "How am I meant to stop him from consuming it so gluttonously?"

Spam ;

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

"I meant to say that the myriad possibilities and feelings of humanity likely overwhelm him," he answered, smiling wryly. "He's probably pompous and rude with or without it."

He took a moment to think on her second question, sipping his tea, but eventually only shrugged. "As for stopping him from it, just forbid it, I suppose. Enforce punishments if he disobeys. If he knew what was best for himself, he wouldn't be here."

Spam ;

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth offered a sincere laugh. It was wonderful to hear someone able and willing to speak ill of the man she tried not to insult any more than necessary for the sake of her sanity. She sipped at her tea idly as she watched him, listening. The girl was intent in the conversation and the wisdom that the other man could offer.

"How can I punish him?" She asked with some confusion. It seemed that inmates here had all the time and space to roam that they wanted. How could she stop any warden or inmate from getting alcohol to him? It was overwhelming to consider.

Spam ;

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

Aziraphale shrugged. "Assign him to a service of some sort? Few people enjoy janitorial tasks. If he insists on acting childishly about your recommendations, then he has to be treated as one.

"It's unfortunate it should come to that," he added, sounding sincerely regretful. He honestly wanted to think the best of this Castiel, as he hadn't talked to him personally hardly at all, but the fact of the matter was what he was hearing wasn't exactly flattering. After all this time on Earth, though, he couldn't say he expected differently from the divine.

Spam ; wrap up / summarize soon?

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth considered the option. Truthfully, she wasn't entirely certain what kind of task Aziraphale was recommending, but she understood the concept well enough that she didn't feel it necessary to ask. Perhaps her inmate could benefit from a job; something like cleaning. Maybe the former angel would work better if he viewed himself as a servant of some kind.

"I will have to think upon this matter," she replied after a moment, sipping more from her drink. "This tea is absolutely enchanting; I felt I must tell you."

Spam ; sure! we can say that they ate together and exchanged English politeness

[tartaned.livejournal.com]

He smiled at her, genuinely pleased with the compliment. "Thank you. The stuff they have in the kitchens isn't bad, but I've gotten a certain knack for making just the right kind out of the ether. Enough years of practice, and all that."

Spam ; thanks!

[amissbennet.livejournal.com]

Elizabeth smiled and nodded, pleased to have such fantastic company. The conversation continued to be equally enchanting as time continued and the tea and their meal was delightful. It was obvious, by the end of the evening, that Aziraphale would be a good friend and a great source of wisdom in her time here.